A Werewolf's Secret
by MaggieMalfoy
Summary: Three years ago Roxanna got the most wonderful yet terrifying news when she learned she was pregnant with Professor Lupin's child. Though he left her without ever finding out. Now she's started a new life but when Narcissa calls for her help she's forced to return with her son no one knows about, and finds out Remus is around again, though there's a young auror pursuing him. (HBP)
1. Chapter 1 Teaser

**A/N: This is just a teaser of chapter 1, the full version will be coming soon!**

My slumber is interrupted by a thumping on the side of my bed. My eyes flicker open and I stretch, then turn to be greeted by the cutest set of light blue eyes.

"Mommy I'm hungry!" announced a bouncing three year old with hair as dark as mine.

"Are you now?" I smile and sit up. "If you want food give me a hug!" He takes one more jump and lands straight into my arms in a fit of giggles. I kiss his forehead and stand while lifting him up with me. "What do you feel like eating Demetrius?"

"Ummm I don't know!" he answers.

"You never know!" I laugh as we head into the kitchen. I sit him atop the counter and take out my wand to spread open the curtain allowing a brightness to penetrate through the window. The view is beautiful, fields of green grass and a bright blue sky. I love being in France, I decide. The Blake family manor was located on the perfect spot too.

It's unexpected yet amazing how thing have worked out. Leaving Britain was the best decision I could have made. Though three years have flown by I recall as if it were yesterday. The moment I found out I was pregnant with my Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, Remus J. Lupin's child. It was the most wonderful and terrifying news I could of ever have gotten, each for a number of reasons. So many things could of gone wrong and so many things did. Firstly he left me before he could even find out, secondly I had to consider the fact that our child might inherit his little condition. Then I had to prepare for the reaction people would have had they found out. It seemed a mess.

The hardest part was hiding it from Narcissa. It's as if the woman had an extra sense for this kind of thing. Luckily I'm sure she was certain it was my ex-boyfriend Michael's, there's absolutely no way anyone, save my close friend Lilian, would know or even guess Remus was the father.

Therefore I decided to get the hell out of there, before things could go bad. I needed time to figure everything out and space to do it. Which is why it seemed to be set in the stars that I inherited my father's estate in France the day I turned 17. It was perfect. I was able to leave before I started showing and Lilian stayed with me for the summer before she went off to train to become a healer. And she's spent every summer since then here. In fact she was due to arrive any day now.

"Mommy!" Demetrius calls and snaps me from my reverie.

"Yes, my love?"

"Look at that owl!" he shouts in giggles.

I turn and I see an owl tapping on the windowpane. That looks like Narcissa's owl. I open the window and it flys in, swoops by Demetrius who is trying to capture it, and drops a letter on the counter. In another swift motion it grabs ahold of a pear and is out the window again. The piece of parchment is folded and has _Roxanna_ written on it in Narcissa's hand. It's been months since Narcissa last owled me, we try to keep in touch. When I first left she would owl me all the time and often attempted to persuade me to go visit. I always came up with an excuse, she doesn't know about Demetrius. She did always assume I was with child but was never able to confirm it, though she often hints at it in her letters, going on about how lonely I must be out here and who I keep around for company and whatnot.

Before I left I had a talk about it with my mother who convinced me it would be best to keep it to myself, and try to start a new life. She wasn't happy when she found out she was going to be a grandmother, and even less thrilled when she found out who the father was. Nevertheless I was in a fragile state, scared and confused so I went along with what she said. Now that I look back on it I'm sure she wanted me to move for her benefit. It would of put a damper on her oh so prestige reputation should word have got out that her only daughter was going to give birth to a werewolf's offspring. Though it worked out for the best.

I've been able to grow and no longer rely on her approval. Demetrius is the best thing that's ever happened to me. He has Remus' eyes and my hair and the most adorable smile. He also has his mommy's tactics, I'm so sure he'd be a slytherin.

I open the parchment and begin to read:

_Hello Roxanna, _

_I wish I came bearing good news, though things have gone astray terribly. Too many things for me to put in this letter for fear of interception. But Lucius has been sent to Azkaban. I beg you to come back, I really need your help with a certain task. Please._

_Narcissa. _

It was such a short note, but I could tell it was urgent. I folded it back up and put it aside. I didn't want to ponder too much on it at the moment. I didn't want Demetrius to think I was mad or ignoring him so I set off to make his breakfast.

I often think about Remus. About where he might be, whether he still thinks of me or even remember's me for that matter. I try not to dwell on the thought, I know it's farfetched. Sometimes I hope that somehow he knows. Knows that he has a child. But there's no way he could of known. And I probably won't ever see him again. What bothers me the most is that Demetrius won't know his father. I don't know how or what I'm going to tell him when he gets to the point where he'll start asking. But damn it after all this time I've learned to be all that he needs, and that'll be enough...


	2. Chapter 1 Full

**Chapter 1.**

My slumber is interrupted by a thumping on the side of my bed. My eyes flicker open and I stretch, then turn to be greeted by the cutest set of light blue eyes.

"Mommy I'm hungry!" announced a bouncing three year old with hair as dark as mine.

"Are you now?" I smile and sit up. "If you want food give me a hug!" He takes one more jump and lands straight into my arms in a fit of giggles. I kiss his forehead and stand while lifting him up with me. "What do you feel like eating Demetrius?"

"Ummm I don't know!" he answers.

"You never know!" I laugh as we head into the kitchen. I sit him atop the counter and take out my wand to spread open the curtain allowing a brightness to penetrate through the window. The view is beautiful, fields of green grass and a bright blue sky. I love being in France, I decide. The Blake family manor was located on the perfect spot too.

It's unexpected yet amazing how thing have worked out. Leaving Britain was the best decision I could have made. Though three years have flown by I recall as if it were yesterday. The moment I found out I was pregnant with my Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, Remus J. Lupin's child. It was the most wonderful and terrifying news I could of ever have gotten, each for a number of reasons. So many things could of gone wrong and so many things did. Firstly he left me before he could even find out, secondly I had to consider the fact that our child might inherit his _little condition_. Then I had to prepare for the reaction people would have had they found out. It seemed a mess.

The hardest part was hiding it from Narcissa. It's as if the woman had an extra sense for this kind of thing. Luckily I'm sure she was certain it was my ex-boyfriend Michael's, there's absolutely no way anyone, save my close friend Lilian, would know or even guess Remus was the father.

Therefore I decided to get the hell out of there, before things could go bad. I needed time to figure everything out and space to do it. Which is why it seemed to be set in the stars that I inherited my father's estate in France the day I turned 17. It was perfect. I was able to leave before I started showing and Lilian stayed with me for the summer before she went off to train to become a healer. And she's spent every summer since then here. In fact she was due to arrive any day now.

"Mommy!" Demetrius calls and snaps me from my reverie.

"Yes, my love?"

"Look at that owl!" he shouts in giggles.

I turn and I see an owl tapping on the windowpane. That looks like Narcissa's owl. I open the window and it flys in, swoops by Demetrius who is trying to capture it, and drops a letter on the counter. In another swift motion it grabs ahold of a pear and is out the window again. The piece of parchment is folded and has _Roxanna_ written on it in Narcissa's hand. It's been months since Narcissa last owled me, we try to keep in touch. When I first left she would owl me all the time and often attempted to persuade me to go visit. I always came up with an excuse, she doesn't know about Demetrius. She did always assume I was with child but was never able to confirm it, though she often hints at it in her letters, going on about how lonely I must be out here and who I keep around for company and whatnot.

Before I left I had a talk about it with my mother who convinced me it would be best to keep it to myself, and try to start a new life. She wasn't happy when she found out she was going to be a grandmother, and even less thrilled when she found out who the father was. Nevertheless I was in a fragile state, scared and confused so I went along with what she said. Now that I look back on it I'm sure she wanted me to move for her benefit. It would of put a damper on her oh so prestige reputation should word have got out that her only daughter was going to give birth to a werewolf's offspring. Though it worked out for the best.

I've been able to grow and no longer rely on her approval. Demetrius is the best thing that's ever happened to me. He has Remus' eyes and my hair and the most adorable smile. He also has his mommy's tactics, I'm so sure he'd be a slytherin.

I open the parchment and begin to read:

_Hello Roxanna, _

_I wish I came bearing good news, though things have gone astray terribly. Too many things for me to put in this letter for fear of interception. But Lucius has been sent to Azkaban. I beg you to come back, I really need your help with a certain task. Please._

_Narcissa. _

It was such a short note, but I could tell it was urgent. I folded it back up and put it aside. I didn't want to ponder too much on it at the moment. I didn't want Demetrius to think I was mad or ignoring him so I set off to make his breakfast.

I often think about Remus. About where he might be, whether he still thinks of me or even remember's me for that matter. I try not to dwell on the thought, I know it's farfetched. Sometimes I hope that somehow he knows. Knows that he has a child. But there's no way he could of known. And I probably won't ever see him again. What bothers me the most is that Demetrius won't know his father. I don't know how or what I'm going to tell him when he gets to the point where he'll start asking. But damn it after all this time I've learned to be all that he needs, and that'll be enough.

"She's asked me to go back." I explain to Lilian as she rocks Demetrius' sleeping figure in her arms. She was sitting across from me in the dining room. She had finally got here earlier today and I couldn't be more thankful. I needed someone to discuss this with. The thought alone was overwhelming. I didn't know where to even begin contemplating it.

"For what?" she asked.

"She needs help with something but wouldn't say what." I inform her. "It seems urgent."

"Things are not good back in Britian at the moment." Lilian begins solemnly. "The dark lord is back, as you know. I hear the order is back. I hear-" she paused for a moment and looked me in the eyes then back down at Demetrius. "I hear Remus has joined them again."

The words she spoke took me a while to process. Remus. It's a name I haven't heard from anyone else's lips but my own in a long time. It reminds me that he's real. And the first news I hear about him in so long is that he's putting himself in danger.

"Does Remus actually believe he can face the Dark Lord?" I spit, a sudden rage surging.

"Apparently." she answers, not minding my sudden tone.

"He has a child. He has a child and he's out there risking his life for someone else's child. Not even a child! Harry Potter is practically a man himself!" I can't help but be angry. All I think about is how Remus obviously has not abandoned Harry and he so easily left me without so much as an explanation.

"You know if you come back you'll have to choose." Lilian says after a moment of silence passed.

"Do you remember last time?" I ask her. We were mere kids ourselves, dedicated to the side our parents choose. We are purebloods and were always meant to do what is expected of us, to preserve our kind.

She nods.

"What do you choose this time?" I ask.

"I don't know. I don't want to choose. I honestly don't care about any of it. Of course my family is already on board with The Dark Lord." she answers.

"And no doubt mine is already as well." I add. "I'm scared though. Demetrius is a halfblood. My family won't accept him unless they believe he's a pureblood."

"So what are you going to do?" she questioned.

"I'm going to change his last name. There was a man I was seeing a for a bit a few month back. He wasn't from here, he was Russian, but he was pureblood. Of a noble family. I'm going to proclaim him the father to my family." That plan had been building in my mind for days, this was the first time I was saying it out loud and it didn't sound as crazy as it did in my head.

"That could work." Lilian replies, a look of thinking it over sweeping her features. "What was his name?"

"Vladimir Dolzhikov of Moscow."

"Ooh he sounds hot!" she muses.

I laugh. The first genuine laugh I've had in days. "He was."

"What happened then?"

"I didn't fall in love with him. I tried but I couldn't. So he left." I say having made my way up to the counter where I stared into the marble.

"Our relationship has progressed." Lilian announces. She always knew how to change the subject before I was about to set off into pointless despondency.

"Oh?" I say turning to her with an arched eyebrow.

"It wasn't suppose to happen. I could get kicked out of the program if they find out. But I don't know how I'm going to hide it." she explains with a blush. She had finally been put in Lockhart's ward. I bet she was _excited_.

"We're slytherins Lilian! We know how to sneak around! Just don't get caught!" I tell her feeling my daringness from my younger days start to swarm within me.

"It's not that simple anymore." she says quietly starring down at Demetrius.

"What do you mean?"

She looked at me and her blues eyes were watery. She began to sob.

"Lilian what's wrong?"

She takes a deep breath in effort to calm herself then she looks up at me again. "I'm having a baby."

My eyes widen and my smile instantly grows after my momentary shock passes. "Thats amazing!" I announce and run to embrace her.

She shakes her head. "It's not, Roxanna, it's not!"

"Why?" I ask stepping back, taking Demetrius from her and heading to the sitting room with her behind me. I lay my gorgeous baby on the couch and summon a blanket to cover him and then I take a seat by Lilian.

"They won't let him out any time soon." she explains. "And if they find out, I'll get kicked out and I won't be able to see him anymore, he won't know his child."

Realization hit me. She was afraid she was going to end up like me. It didn't offend me. It was the truth after all. "From my experience, for what it's worth, no scenario is worth regretting or second guessing your child. You're going to love it Lilian! No matter how the situation turns out, you're going to love being a mommy!"

She smiles. Her tears stopping. "You do make it look fun." she admits.

"How can I not have fun? Look how cute my kid is!" I laugh, I was never modest and my baby is the damn cutest.

"So you're going back then?" she asks with her hand on her stomach.

"No. We're going back." I say looking down at my handsome little man. We'll go back, see what Narcissa needs, I'll introduce Demetrius as Demetrius Dolzhikov so he'll be set as a 'pureblood' should the dark lord regain power, and then we'll come straight back here. It sounded doable. I just hope I'm making the right decision.

**R&amp;R! Please!**


	3. Chapter 2

I couldn't sleep. Each time my eyes shut I was taken back to my dorm all those years ago at hogwarts. In my mind I was still the little 7th year girl eager to see her professor the next day. I had to keep my eyes open because that was no longer the case. Now I was the mother who had to think about her son. I'm going back tomorrow. The thought that I may not even see him passes through my mind. If I don't things will be so much easier. That scenario isn't whats keeping me awake, the possibility that I actually will see him is.

I decide to get up, giving up on sleep. I go into Demetrius' room to double check that he's all packed with everything he needs. He's sound asleep in his bed when I walk in. He's so damn adorable. I can see so much of Remus in him. I hope no one will realize that, maybe I can see it so well because I can see more than their physical similarities. I can see their equal kindness, the same eating habits, the same laugh. Those types of things.

I think too much. I settle beside Demetrius and instantly fall asleep.

When my eyes open its to see my baby still in a peaceful slumber beside me. I'm very hesitant to awake him but I know we have to leave soon.

"Demetrius." I say as I stroke his hair back from his forehead, to which it just falls back into place. He stirs a bit but doesn't awake. "Demetrius." I say again, a little louder, placing a kiss on his cheek. This time his eyes slowly blink open.

"Mom." he says.

"Time to wake up!" I tell him, unable to help my grand smile at his sight.

"I'm sleepy!" he says, shuts his eyes and turns the other way.

I laugh. "You asked for it my love." I say before my fingers attach to his sides and being to tickle him.

Fits of his giggles explode from my baby. "Mommy stop!" he shouts between his laughing.

"Fine!" I release him. He's up now, definitely. "Guess what baby! Today is our trip!" I inform him as I wave my want summoning his breakfast.

His eyes brighten up instantly. I've never taken Demetrius on an actual trip. He's really never been out of France. It's crossed my mind before, but we have been so comfortable here, I never wanted to risk things. I call for a house elf to wake Lilian and make sure all her belonging are packed too. I don't know how long we'll be gone for as I don't know what it is Narcissa requires help with however I anticipate it'll be about three weeks. I don't plan on staying any longer than that.

Once I have my baby all dressed up we descend to the parlor where we find Lilian awaiting us.

"Slept in, did you Roxanna? Some things never change." Lilian comments.

"Oh ha ha." I remark sarcastically.

"Where's my favorite little guy?" she stretches her arms out to Demetrius and he runs to her.

"We're going on a trip Aunt Lily!" Demetrius tells her excitedly.

"Are you excited?" she asked as she bounced him.

"Yes!" he answers.

He looks so happy. I kinda feel a small pang that I haven't taken him on a trip of any sort before, but better late than never. Plus he's only three, he wouldn't of remembered much if I had. "Well then you both ready?" I ask before I take ahold of my baby and we apparate.

Apparation is one of the most uncomfortable and fastest sensations there is to experience. However this time it felt as though it passed in slow motion. So many thoughts surged through my head at one time. By the time it was over I was left standing with the worst damn headache I've had in a while.

The street we landed on was wet from a recent rain it would appear. It was dark already, we had to stop at a few other countries before arriving in Britian, and from what I heard its no surprise that there was no one lurking the streets at this hour.

"Lumos." Lilian cast as she pulled out her wand. "Is Narcissa expecting us?" she asked.

"I sent her an owl the night before we left, surely she would of received it by now."

"I would hope so. It wouldn't do to not be expected. I hear they've been having special company."

"Well I sure as hell should be considered special company too." I say and they catch the actual meaning of what she was saying. "Wait you mean. . .?"

She nods.

So the Dark Lord has been occupying the manor. I can't decide whether thats a bad thing or a good one. For one thing if we are staying in the dark lords presence then we're obviously in one of the most guarded places and should be safe, not to mention I definitely won't have to worry about seeing Remus. Though on a second note being in the dark lord's presence also puts us in the most dangerous place for no one is ever really safe around him.

"Ready then?" she asks to which I exhale a breath I didn't know I was holding and we descend through the large hedges down the path to the main gates.

I hear Demetrius laugh. "Mommy look!" he shouts. He's pointing at a white peacock. I allow myself a small smile, remembering when I used to run through the fields with Draco and we would shoot curses at them with Lucius and Narcissa's wands. Crazy how they never knew when we would take them.

The closer we get to the gate the more I feel Demetrius squeeze my hand. I think he's getting scared. I pull him a bit closer just to reassure him I'd curse the hell out of anyone who tried to mess with him. We reach the gates and within a second what appears to be a large, foul looking, man appears.

"What business you got here?" he growls.

If they have him on gate duty he obviously isn't anyone too important. I step forward, look him straight in the eyes and arch an eyebrow.

"You must not know who I am, so I'll excuse your tone, this time. Though I suggest you learn to speak to your superiors and guest of my families home." I say playing at my extremely uptight tone, ah la Narcissa.

He eyes me with a gruff. "Knew ya had to be related to Bellatrix. Ya all the same. Look the same too" he muttered.

"Therefore I suggest you get the fuck out my way. Narcissa should be expecting me." I don't like talking like that in front of Demetrius but you can't show weakness around these guys.

He lets us in. When we reached the doors I paused a moment before I knocked. This was it. I looked at Lilian and she gave me a small nod in reassurance. I then looked at my baby and he smiles at me. Thats all I need. I knock and a house elf answers the door.

"Mistress Roxanna!" the creature greets me.

Within a few seconds Narcissa herself comes bustling in. "What's all this fuss-" she trails off when she sees me. "Roxanna!" she screams in a pleseantly surprised mannar.

That confuses me a bit. "Did you not receive my owl? Alerting you I was coming?"

She shakes her head. "So many things I don't have control of anymore." she begins solemnly but then rolls her eyes and puts on a bright facade again. "Never mind that right now, you're here. Thats all that matters."

I approach her to embrace her. It's been so long since I've seen her and as much as I wouldn't admit it I missed her intrusive self.

She hugs me back and then pauses. She must of spotted Demetrius. "Who is this?" she said as she let me go.

I smiled. I thought I'd be nervous introducing him, but I guess I don't get to show off my baby that much so it's kind of exciting. I turn around and beckon my love to come. He complies and I stand him in front of me. "This is Demetrius. This is my son." I say looking down at him then up to Narcissa.

She looks taken aback at first, shocked, not in a bad way though. "I didn't know about Demetrius." she says then bends down to become at level with him. "Hello Demetrius. I'm Auntie Narcissa." she extends her hand to him.

Demetrius looks up at me and I nod to him. He takes her hand and shakes it.

"Well I guess you must all be tired from your journey. The elf will show you to your rooms, and Roxanna rest for now however tomorrow we have much to discuss."


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you so much for everyone who reviewed! I'm excited to be working on this story and hearing that ya'll enjoy it really motivate me! R&amp;R Please!**

Demetrius is still sleeping by the time I'm up and readying myself. How every inch of me protested getting up this morning, I'd of preferred to stay snuggled up by my baby. No way was I going to let him stay in another room, everything is so different here now. It's not the home it was while I was growing up, it didn't feel safe anymore. Lilian was going to come and watch him for me while I faced the inevitable talk with Narcissa. Narcissa. Just seeing her- her whole structure seemed to be falling apart gave indication to how bad things have gotten.

My hair is being extra cooperative today, I brush it and it feels as soft as ever. My make up is also going on perfectly. Oh so I think and then I realize it's not so much perfection as it is style. I'm recreating the style I used to wear to school. I suppose sitting at this former vanity of mine took me into a small time lapse. I still look so young, I mean I suppose I am but I certainly feel much older than I appear.

When I know I can no longer stall I get up and prepare to go, there's a knock at the door. Lilian is just on time. I let her in and give my little sleeping handsomeness a kiss before I leave.

"Good luck." Lilian wishes as I go.

I'm so used to my home back in France that this familiar place now seems so foreign. As I navigate myself through the halls I find myself having to stop and think about where I am and where to go. I finally make it to the dining room where Narcissa is seated.

"Ah Roxanna. Have a seat, breakfast will be out shortly." she says indicating to the chair before her.

I nod and go sit down. "It feels so strange to be back here." I comment.

"Much has changed." she replies, then adds "It seems for you too." she arches an eyebrow.

"My son." I exhale a breath I didn't know I was holding. "My biggest accomplishment so far."

"Yes well surely you couldn't accomplish that on you're own, now could you?"

"You can just ask." I remark. "There's no point in beating around the bush."

"Fine. Who's the father? Is it Michael? You should not have kept him from his own son Roxanna!"

"That whore is not the father of my child!" I snap quickly. "He's a Russian I met shortly after moving to France."

She scrutinizes me. "You mean to tell me you were not with child before you left?"

"As I've told you countless times before, no I was not."

"It just all made sense. The sudden wedding Michael had put together. You're weird eating habits. I honestly thought-"

"Well you were wrong." I insert.

"It appears so. Are you still with this man?" she asks. Oh so like her to be so damn nosy!

"As a matter of fact I am not. He left the country not knowing I was pregnant." I say preparing myself for the inevitable judgment she was about to pass.

"Well. It seems you've done a good job by yourself. He seems amazing." she says and I cannot believe the words coming out of her lips.

"Thank you." I reply genuinely, tasting the shock in my words. It's one of the greatest things to hear, that I'm doing good for my kid.

She smiles, almost a sad smile.

"I wish they could stay that age forever." she says as if almost reminiscing.

"How is Draco?" I ask now starting to feel a bit worried. I can tell something must be off.

She exhales. "He's still just a boy a- and" she beings to stutter.

"What is it?" I ask reaching out and taking her hand in mine.

She shakes her head. "It's punishment. I know it is."

"What's punishment?"

"Draco has been given an impossible mission. He'll fail and he'll... he'll be killed."

"Narcissa what are you talking about?" I urge her to inform me, I can now feel my heart racing. No one can mess with that little rascal but me!

"Lucius failed a huge mission for the Dark Lord." she whispers. "He was suppose to recover a prophesy, it was a disaster and the Dark Lord had him sent to Azkaban as punishment. Now the Dark Lord has entrusted Draco with a mission I know he can't accomplish. He's setting him up to fail for Lucius' mistake."

Oh. The Dark Lord. Well I suppose there is someone who can mess with that little rascal besides me. "What's the mission."

She wipes her eyes and looks up at me. "That's what I need your help with. I need you to help him, in anyway you can please, train him, guide him, anything!"

"Narcissa what is the mission?" I repeat.

"Kill Albus Dumbledore." she says barley even audible.

I stare at her in shock. Surely she didn't just say what I think she just said. Sure I was never fond of the old wizard but never did it cross my mind to kill him! Sure I made fun of the dresses he was always wearing and the fact that he might be a perv but still! I never thought to kill him! But I can't sit here and tell Narcissa that I'm going to let Draco go and get himself killed either.

"I'll help him." I tell her after my shock passes.

"Thank you. Thank you." she begins crying again. "I've asked Severus already. But something doesn't sit right about it. I'd never admit it to Bellatrix, she was against him from the beginning."

"Bellatrix?" I asked surprised. "Bellatrix is here?!"

Narcissa rolls her eyes and nods. "Shes back. And don't get me wrong I love having my sister here. I just don't like seeing her kill herself trying to please 'him' She's at his beck and call in more ways then one, if you know what I'm mean."

"Bella and and-" I couldn't bring myself to say it. Bellatrix and the Dark Lord. Ohh la la. The way she talked about him. I always knew SHE wanted to but I never thought HE'd agree to it. "Wow. Where is she?"

"She's not here at the moment. Should be back in three days or so."

I leave breakfast with Narcissa shortly after our food arrived. I had way to much on my mind to have much of an apatite and it seems she wasn't keen on eating anything either. I get back to my room to find my love wide awake and playing with auntie Lilian.

"Mommy!" he yells when he sees me.

"Demetrius!" I yell back and run to embrace him. "Do you want to go visit a lake?" I ask him, having decided I really need some fresh air.

"Yes!"

"Then find your shoes!" I tell him and he runs off to search for them.

"So how'd the reunion go?" Lilian asks.

"Crazy." I say and being filling her in.

"Damn! Are you going to go through with it?"

"Well there's really nothing for me to go through with. Draco is the one whose going to have to go through some shit."

"Things keep getting crazier and crazier. Roxanna I actually have to get going. I've got to visit Gil and a medwitch. I'll be back in a few days" she says and gets up.

I get up too and embrace her. "Bye bitch. Remember keep it a PG visit seeing as you're already knocked up." I wink at her and she blushes.

"Bye Roxanna!" she says before apparating.

I turn and see Demetrius struggling to put his shoes on and laugh. With the wave of my wand his shoes slip on him perfectly. I then hide my wand.

"Mom I did it!"

"You did! Now let's go!"

There was a spot not too far from here that I used to escape to whenever I needed solitude. There was a small lake that was hidden in the middle of the woods. I hadn't been there in years but I miss it and I think Demetrius will enjoy it. We go outside and I pick up Demetrius to apparate. It wasn't far but I sure as hell wasn't walking.

In a matter of a few seconds we're transported to the middle of a peaceful beautiful scenery, that looked just as I remembered it. I put Demetrius down and he automatically runs around exploring the place.

"Not to far." I call to him as I sit by a tree in front of the lake. Its so tranquil here, I loved it so much. It was the perfect escape back then when my life was full of chaos. It could think about anything and everything back here. The only difference is that now the silence is replaced by the giggles of my little boy and it makes it a hundred times better.

I rest for a bit, not really thinking of anything, just tossing pebbles into the lake and listening to Demetrius shout out all his findings.

"Mommy look at this"

"Mommy it's crawling on me!"

"Mommy I killed it!"

"Mommy who's he-"

I sprang up at the last one. He? There was someone here? "Demetrius come back you stay away from strangers!" I yell and run towards his voice.

"What's your name?" I hear Demetrius ask as I get closer and I pick up my past. I spot him and quickly run straight to him.

"Demetrius get back here!" I call now realizing that there is indeed someone here. He's tall and facing the other way.

"Mommy!" Demetrius calls and runs to me.

"I told you not to be wondering off!" I reprimand and look up at the man who's turning around.

"Sorry he-" I began apologizing for my child's intrusion but then lose my words instantly. I can now see the man's face. Remus is standing right in front of me.


	5. Chapter 4

I was standing in front of the love of my life. I just stared at him. I couldn't find any words to say. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion. For a few moments he just stared at me too. I couldn't read his expression. My heartbeat picked up, my arms felt weak. It flet like we'd be gazing at at each other forever. Then he began to smile. A grand smile.

"Roxanna?" he said, breaking the silence.

I blinked a few times. "Remus." I said in disbelief. I couldn't believe he was here.

I began to regain my senses. Remus was in front of me. He was actually standing right in front of me! If I was to take a few steps forward I could embrace him. And how badly I wanted to. I wanted to break down and tell him how much I loved him and how badly I missed him. At the moment all or any progress I'd made over the pass three years to get over him was lost. But I couldn't. I couldn't break down, I couldn't let my son- our son- see that.

"How... How have you been?" he asked taking a step forward.

I should be furious with him! I should yell at him but I found myself taking a step forward too. "I missed you, I've missed you so much." It's as if I had no control over the words flooding out of my mouth. I suddenly felt a wet stream down my cheek. Was I crying? I couldn't help it. I threw my arms around him. He returned the embrace. One of his hands ran through my hair. I felt his heartbeat, I felt his breathing. Then I felt something wrap around my leg, we both look down and I can't help my full on tears now. Demetrius joined the hug, one arm wrapped around my leg, one wrapped around Remus'.

"Is this your son?" Remus asks.

I look up at him. Should I tell him? Well I had too. He had a right to know. I wipe my eyes and take a step back.

"Remus-" I began but was interrupted.

"Remus! Remus!" came the voice of a woman seeming to come from a little bit down the forest. "Remus!" She was getting closer.

I picked up Demetrius and took a few steps back. The most confused expression on my face. I performed a quick spell to clear my face of the former tears.

A woman appeared behind Remus. "There you are! I was beginning to worry."

"I'm quiet fine." Remus answered her.

She had the strangest bright pink hair color and dressed like a freak. Behind the oddity though she looked extremely familiar for some reason.

I wore my usual nonchalant-I'm better than you-expression.

"Well I'm relieved." she said all giggly and wrapped her arms around his arm. I felt a pang in my heart at that but played indifferent. "Who is this?" she asked indicating to Demetrius and I.

Remus appeared extremely uncomfortable. "This is Roxanna and her son." he answered. This infuriated me. I wanted to scream 'OUR SON!' but I bit my tongue. "Roxanna this is Nymphadora."

"It's tonks!" she quickly inserted.

Oh my! I know that bitch! Actually I'm related to that bitch!

"Nyphadora!" I spit disgusted. I know all about her and her mother being blood traitors and whatnot. I never really had a problem with it personally, but I suppose the sight of her and Remus together was enough to pull up any excuse for rage.

"Excuse me?" she retorts.

"I do suppose you wouldn't recognize me. You technically aren't part of our family anymore and they've done such a good job of keeping me away from filth such as yourself. I do hope you enjoy her Remus." I said swallowing back tears. Remus opened his mouth as if to say something but he didn't. The last thing I saw was Tonks' appalled face before Demetrius and I apparated away.

"Mommy what's wrong?" Demetrius asked when we landed.

I force a smile. "Nothing love. Mommy just doesn't like that freak."

I couldn't sleep. This morning's events kept playing in my mind. Was Remus seeing her? Were they a couple? Is it possible that he has another family now? The thoughts kept me tossing and turning. I mean it shouldn't matter. I had already told myself I didn't need him, I didn't come back here to find him. I don't know what happened, it's like seeing him changed all of that.

I think of him. He looks so much the same though so much worn. If he is with her she isn't taking care of him. Then I think more into it. Maybe she's better for him than I am. She's a little older than I am, and she's on his side of this war. She can be seen with him. This trail of thought feels so familiar. Thats because I've been through it before. We still have the exact same problem. We still coudn't be seen together. There is still someone better out there for him. I still don't fit into his life, much less his son.

I decide to get up. Sleep is never going to come. I walk to the window. The closer I get I begin to hear a tapping. I open the window and in fly's an owl. I don't recognize the bird but I recognize the handwriting on the note. My breath hitches. I pull the note off quickly.

It's from Remus:

Don't want to risk compromise. I'll be in Hogsmead tomorrow right after dawn. Transformation point. I hope I see you there. There's a lot I want to explain.

Meet Remus in a few hours? Transformation point? He must mean the whomping willow. As much as I wanted to protest, I know there's no way I'd miss this opportunity.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Because I think Remus and Roxanna deserved this chapter, don't you? Lol. I was hearing 'Every step you take' by Denmark and Winter while I wrote this chapter, I recommend you hear it while or after you read this. Music helps me envision the scene. So as always please Read and Review as it will encourage me to write and update faster! XOXO**

"You do know that I love you, don't you?" I ask Remus. I made it to him, deliberating the whole way to Hogsmead, but I made it to him. He was waiting for me, as he said he'd be. There was no sign of Tonks. It was just him and I. And though his note claimed he had a lot to explain he was awfully silent. For the longest time he started at me in the dull darkness and for a while I stared back. Finally I had to break the silence.

"How am I to know that Roxanna?" he answered with a question without hesitation.

"Because I never stopped. Because I'm not the one who gave up and walked away." I'm not mad as I say it. I keep as calm as I can, I want to have a rational conversation and collect rational answers; No mind games.

"It was for you're own good. There was- there is- no life with me. It seemed to work for the best, you have a son now, you're most likely married, you have a family- don't you see that's a life I could have never given you?" he spoke as if he believed every word he said. I do think he's being genuine. He really must think I have a husband and child and this wonderful life. He must really think he almost got in the way of all that. He must really think I'm so happy.

"I see none of those logics have stopped you from moving on. Maybe it was never that you didn't think you were good enough, maybe you felt it was I who wasn't good enough." I challenge. Not yet poking holes all over his assumptions.

"Moving on?" he says with a halfhearted laugh. He shakes his head a bit. "No. That girl is delusional." he looks up at me, his blue eyes shinning with the lantern's reflection. "And don't play that Roxanna. Merlin knows I would be the most foolish man in history if I didn't realize I was lucky you even considered me. You're worth more than the hands of princes and the worlds most elite. That is pure statement. That is how I know you deserve better than me."

I feel my heartbeat at his words. That he thinks so much of me means so much to me. But I can't let my emotions give in just yet.

"What if I told you that you're wrong?"

"I'm not wrong Roxanna."

"But you are Remus." I begin to taking a few steps closer. "You're wrong professor. Everything didn't work out for the best. I didn't find happiness with another man. I didn't run off and get married. I didn't forget about you and start a family." I say now right in front of him. I touch the side of his scared worn face with my fingers. I begin to caress the area as I go on. "You left me. You left me with a son." his eyes widen. "You left me and our son. And it's just been me and our son for the past three years at my late father's manor in France. It's been him and I, everyday. It's been long nights wondering where you were, if you remembered me, if there was someway you might know. It's been missing you everyday, all the time. And now it's me here telling you the truth."

He stared at me in a stunned silence. My caressing stopped and my hand slid down to his chest. It felt amazing to touch him after so long. So long I have dreamt of being able to touch him again.

"I'm so sorry." he whispered. I could feel his heart beating beneath my hand.

I drop my hand lower until I find his hand and entangle them together, while never breaking my gaze away from his. "You do know that I love you, don't you?" I re-ask. "I love you. I love you. I love you." I continue to whisper as I tippy-toe, bringing my lips to his.

We make contact and his arms automatically wrap around my back as he pulls me closer, my arms flung around his neck, it was as if a tidal wave of longing was being unleashed for the first time. It was as if I entered one of my surreal dreams that I dreaded awaking from.

"I've thought about you everyday. Everyday." he said through heavy breaths in between kisses.

My hands ran through his hair. His ran through mine. I kissed his lips, I kissed every inch of his face and down to his neck, savoring every time I made contact. I felt as his mustache tickled the side of my neck. I dwelled in his embrace. I breathed hard as he began to pick me up. I invited him as he made to remove my jacket. Chills ran down my spine as his hands traced the frame of my body. My eyes closed, afraid to open, afraid this would all be gone. But feeling him all over me was a very welcome reassurance, he was here.

"You belong to me." I whispered before I gave myself to him for the first time in a very, very long time.

I awoke a few hours later, it was midday by now as indicated by the daylight sinking in through the battered windows of the Shrieking Shack. I had not forgotten a single moment of what happened a few hours previous. I could feel him behind me. The heat of his bare body on mine provided me with warmth in this otherwise freezing atmosphere. I turn around to come face to face with his sleeping face. He looks so peaceful, nowhere near as worn and stressed as he had the last time I encountered him.

I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that he's here. That I'd just made love to him. That he now knows that we have a child. That I'm aware that we face so many challenges and yet in this moment I can't bring myself to do anything other than stare at the man I love. I being to caress his arm. Slowly he starts to toss and come to consciousness. Without opening his eyes yet he stretches and smiles.

"Roxanna?" he says with a sleepy voice.

"Remus." I reply leaning over to place a small kiss on his lips.

His eyes blink open, the smile still present. "Tell me about our son."


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: Love reading all your comments it really makes my day and encourages me to keep up this fanfic, I'm getting a lot more ideas for it and can't wait to share them with y'all! R&amp;R Please!**

"I never want to leave." I whispered into the crook of Remus' neck, as I sit on his lap, fully dressed now.

He squeezes me tighter. "We'll be together again soon."

There are so many thoughts racing through my mind; I want to find his word comforting, I really do, and I don't want to bring up anything that would ruin the mood, but there are inevitable questions that have to be asked. "Remus." I begin.

"Hmm?" he responds, placing comforting kisses on my forehead.

I take a deep breath and just release what I need to say before I change my mind. "There's going to be a war soon. We both know it. We're on two separate sides. What are we going to do?"

He paused the strokes he was previously running along my leg. "You're siding with the dark lord?" he asked patiently.

"Well naturally that's the side my family is on. I don't care for any particular side. But I have a son to think about now." I answer a bit defensively.

"And you think it's in his best interest to grow up in a superior pureblood society?" he presses.

I lift my head to be able to look at him face to face. I'm pretty offended now. "I think it's in his best interest not to have enemies such as the dark lord against him." I remark stiffly.

"I don't think he should have to grow up with those ideals. He'll start to think them true." Remus replied attempting to keep an argument-type tone out of his voice. But I sure as hell wasn't. I was mad by now.

"I think his safety is a little more important than what politics he's going to belive in at the moment Remus."

"I'm in no way implying that it isn't Roxanna!" he was offended this time. "I'm merely expressing that their is no guarantee that choosing that side assures his safety. You know what they are capable of, even to their own kind."

"My family-" I began about to start the argument that Demetrius wasn't just anybody, that we were high in the ranks but he interrupted me.

"Even your family has been out of the dark lord's favor, Roxanna." he said simply.

I roll my eyes, why'd Lucius have to be such a klutz damn it. "Well we don't even have to choose a side." I say as the idea hits me, I take Remus' face in my hands. "We can leave." I smile.

"Leave?" he repeats questioningly.

"Yes. We can go. Leave it, leave this all behind. We can go to France, just you and me and our son. It be so perfect." I explain.

For the fraction of a second I see a sort of smile flicker on his lips but it disappeared as soon as it appeared. He shakes his head. "I can't do that."

My hands drop from his face. I feel my heart sink and a frown etch my features. "Why not? Don't you want to be with us?"

"Of course I do." he begins caressing the side of my face, "I just can't leave right now. There's too much to do. Harry needs me. I can't abandon everyone."

I push his hand off of my face and get up from his lap. "And what about abandoning me? That was okay, was it? And what about your son? Don't you think he needs you too? Is it really crazy to think that your son needs his father?" I feel tears sliding down my face, I don't bother wiping them.

He stares at me dumbfounded for a few seconds before he gets up too. He takes a deep breath. "Roxanna you have to understand-"

"Understand what? That you're choosing a war over me, never mind me- you've left me before- but over your own child Remus, honestly, and you want me to _understand_!"

"I want to fight this war for him! So he doesn't have to end up living in a world of corruption!" he retorts, his voice raising, though, only a bit.

"Don't you dare. Don't you dare say its for him. It's not him you're worried about. You know as well as I do that he wouldn't suffer in either world. He's my son, he'd be part of the elite, should the dark lord win. You haven't even met him and you expect me to belive that this is all for his well being. His real well being would be with you around, with you with him, with us." I yell, tears still active.

"And what if they find out he's my son Roxanna. He won't be so elite then, the son of a half breed."

"You're making excuses." I reply looking at the ground. Maybe what he's saying makes a little bit of sense but that just an underline thing we'd have to figure out. Anything should be worth figuring out if it meant being together.

"When this is over-" he began after a few moments but I cut him off.

"That's what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that when this is over, you might be too. What if something happens to you Remus. You're already pushing yourself far more than you should be." I try to explain my worries to him.

"I'm just tired. I'm old Roxanna, I just need rest, I'm fine."

I ignore him. "Remus I love you." I tell him starring him in the eyes with my tearstained face. "Please, come with me and Demetrius. We can leave here tonight. We wouldn't have to tell anyone. Please be with me."

He approaches me, he lifts my chin so that I meet his gaze. He told the gaze for awhile. I try to read his eyes to get a hint to what he's going to tell me. Will he agree to come with me? "I wish I could." he answers.

My heart instantly breaks. My breathing becomes rigid as anger starts to fill me. I push his hand away from my face harshly and break our gaze. "I think it be better if Demetrius doesn't meet you. It be easier for all of us." I say starring at the ground then automatically head for the door.

"Roxanna-"

I ignore him and I leave.


	8. Chapter 7

"Draco I already know all about it." I say to Draco, as I toss Demetrius a ball.

"I'm grown now Roxanna, no offense, but I'm not sure how you could be any help to me." he replies, his hands beckoning for Demetrius to throw the ball to him.

"You must have forgotten who you're talking to!" I retort a little offended, playfully pointing my wand at him.

He spares a halfhearted smile. "I don't think 'mommy' Roxanna has it in her anymore." he says mockingly.

I narrow my eyes and recite a silent spell which sends him flying off his feet. He lands with a thud a few yards away.

"Weak!" he yell's, though I can see him struggling to get up.

"Haha! Baby go help Uncle Draco get off his arse." I tell Demetrius. He takes off running to Draco and I begin deliberating exactly how I plan to help Draco.

The death of Dumbledore seems like it would also be the death of any chance the Order has of winning the war. That means Remus would lose. Sigh. Remus. I haven't seen or heard from him in almost a week. Quiet honestly I didn't expect to either. I don't understand him. I mean I can admire that he's so dedicated and passionate about all this- but only to a certain extent. It baffles me that he can so easily pick this war over his own son. Thinking about it only amplifies my desire to help Draco.

"So my biggest problem is actually getting death eaters into Hogwarts, of all places." Draco says hoisting Demetrius over his shoulders.

He snapped me out of my thoughts. "You know what I think I may have an idea."

"Really?" his eyes brighten up.

"Possibly. Come on, there's a place we need to check out."

I return to the Malfoy Manor later that day with a content Draco. We had made a trip down to Knockturn Alley, more specifically to Borgin and Burkes. I accidently found out a few years ago that there was some sort of portal working through a certain chest that resided there, that portal- with the right spell and concentration- lead straight into Hogwarts. After a mini-experiment, we were able to confirm how right I was. The only problem now was Draco actually being able to perform the spell without my assistance, though that was for him to figure out.

I was exhausted, to say the least. My mind was racing from one thing to another- I lacked focus. Most of my thoughts, as much as I hate to admit it, were of Remus. It annoyed me greatly. I'm pretty sure his thoughts were far off of me. They were probably consumed with the war and of Mr. Harry Potter. Honestly. And although it hurt it wasn't so bad that I didn't think he was thinking about me, but that I don't think he was thinking about Demetrius either. That bothered me the most. Before it was different. He didn't know about his son's existence. But now that he knows I just don't understand.

"My, my. This can't be baby Roxanna, can it?" a voice came from behind me. I knew that voice, a voice which even without trying held a douse of insanity only years in Azkaban could provide.

"Bellatrix?!" I squeal, turning around to see a mess of black curls down the hall, descending toward me.

"Oh my, why haven't you grown." she said, eyeing me as she approached.

She's nothing like I remembered. Well look wise. Her natural beauty has been stolen. Though she still held an undeniable attractiveness only a member of the Black family could have. My smile was beaming though, I felt like I was 5. She was my idol, and the family member I've wanted to see the most. I throw my arms around her. "Ahhh!" She's stiff at first. It's obvious she's not used to being embraced, but then seconds later she eases into it, but then quickly pushes me off, laughing.

I laugh too. "Well. It's nice to actually feel welcomed." she says throwing a cold stare to Narcissa who was walking into the room carrying a tired looking Demetrius. Bellatrix's eyes widen. "And who is this? Surely Draco hasn't gone and made you a grandma Narcissa."

"That's my son!" I exclaim taking Demetrius from Narcissa. "Demetrius tell Auntie Bella hi!"

"Hi Auntie Bella." Demetrius said sleepily laying his head on my shoulder.

Bellatrix examines him. "Well isn't he an adorable little creature. And the father? Pureblood, I'm sure?"

"Of course." I answer with no hesitation. "He's Russian, back in Moscow now."

"We must get acquainted more later. If you'll excuse me I have some... _tending_.. to do for the Dark Lord." She makes to leave and then pauses. "We actually must set a formal greeting for you and your pup to be introduced to the Dark Lord, it's only proper. Narcissa perhaps you can take time from brooding over your excuse of a husband and set up arrangements." And she was gone.

I suppressed a gag. As immature as it may seem, out of everything she said all I heard was the part about _tending _to the dark lord, and um, ew, I could have done without hearing that. I take Demetrius upstairs to our room, thanking merlin that it's in a different wing than the Dark Lord's room. He's really sleepy, playing with Draco has worn him out. I tuck him in and decide to floo Lilian.

"Roxanna!" she exclaims when she answers.

"Hello baby mama!" I reply.

She laughs. "How have you been? Where's my little Demy?"

"He's sleeping. Proper worn out. I have so much to tell you though. Can you see my stress lines all through my face? I'm turning old!"

"Calm down! What's going on?" she asks.

"I ran into Remus after all. Lilian, unexpectedly. I told him everything, I know that wasn't my plan but when I saw him again I might as well have not bothered even prepare a plan. I saw his face and I loved him, I loved him all over again. Merlin I actually slept with him the other night."

"Well it can't be all bad, has Demetrius met him? Y'all going to work it out, then? My how did he react when you told him he has a son?" Lilian questions were flooding out.

I shook my head. I suddenly felt the need to suppress tears I didn't know were threatening to spill. "He doesn't want our family." I managed to cough out without letting tears fall.

Her features turned angry, and admittedly kind of scary. That's why, although she was a nice person, you didn't want to go pissing Lilian off. "What do you mean he doesn't want your family? That bastard! It's his son!"

"That's what I said! But he says that Demetrius and I would be better off without him, and that the damn bloody war is more important!" I yell my frustrations. I know I can scream and release my anger and emotions to Lilian, she knows that I'm not yelling at her. In fact she yells with me. I tell her more details on the matter and everything thats going on, well the stuff I'm at liberty to discuss, anyways.

"So how are you? How is the pregnancy? How is Lockhart?" I ask turning the attention to her. I really hope she's had better luck than I have.

She looks shy. She looks down and says, "He told me he loved me." I can see her smiling.

I smile. My mood brightening up. At least love does exist in this world. "Of course he loves you! He'd be _crazy_ not too." I say with a wink.

Her smile fades a bit. "I need to get him out of here. I don't know how I'm going to do that."

I think for a moment. "Break him out."

"Roxanna I'm not you. I couldn't pull something like that off. Plus where would we hide if I did. They'd find us."

"We'll come up with a plan. Then you can go to my Manor in France, they won't find you there! Demetrius and I are going to return too. The place is much too grand for just the two of us. We'll be roommates again! Oh and when the baby comes, just imagine!" I began unable to restraint my excitement at the idea.

"You honestly think so?" Lilian beams at the idea.

"You need to get back here as soon as possible, we'll plan it then! There's not much holding me back in this country anymore."


	9. Chapter 8 (Teaser)

**I've been extremely busy but here goes a super short teaser chapter! The more reviews I get the faster I'll update!**

"Don't you realize you're safety is at risk?" Remus asks in an evident, yet calm frustration, rubbing his forehead between his index finger and thumb.

"You know damn right I would die for you. Don't give me that excuse! I've been dying all this time just waiting for you." I yell. I can never keep my composure like him. It actually gets on my nerves how calm this man stays.

I was due to leave tomorrow. I had to see him one finale time though. I managed to track him down, just in time too, he was about to be conducting underground missions for the order through his connections with the werewolf community. I'd of never got ahold of him.

"I don't want you to die, Roxanna! That's what I'm trying to prevent."

"Why do you care? It isn't as if you love me, or want to be with me. If anything me gone might make life easier for you. Oh no wait, then you'd actually have to take care of you're child. We can't have that can we. Now I understand why you want to keep me alive." I yell sarcastically.

"I want to be apart of my son's life Roxanna. You've taken that option from me."

This makes my blood boil. How dare he say I'm the one who made that choice! "You choose not to be apart of his life, Remus! You chose the war over him. I want you to meet him, to know him. Even more I want him to know his father."

He's silent, starring at me. I move closer to him. "Is this goodbye?" I ask, my face inches away from his.

I prepare myself for the inevitable. I know he's going to say it. Something about how this is how it has to be, how we're not safe. Blah blah blah.

He grabs my wrist. The single touch send shocks through my entire body. Any contact with him did that. "Take me to my son." he said to my complete astonishment.


	10. Chapter 8 full

"Don't you realize you're safety is at risk?" Remus asks in an evident, yet calm frustration, rubbing his forehead between his index finger and thumb.

"You know damn right I would die for you. Don't give me that excuse! I've been dying all this time just waiting for you." I yell. I can never keep my composure like him. It actually gets on my nerves how calm this man stays.

I was due to leave tomorrow. I had to see him one finale time though. I managed to track him down, just in time too, he was about to be conducting underground missions for the order through his connections with the werewolf community. I'd of never got ahold of him.

"I don't want you to die, Roxanna! That's what I'm trying to prevent."

"Why do you care? It isn't as if you love me, or want to be with me. If anything me gone might make life easier for you. Oh no wait, then you'd actually have to take care of you're child. We can't have that can we. Now I understand why you want to keep me alive." I yell sarcastically.

"I want to be apart of my son's life Roxanna. You've taken that option from me."

This makes my blood boil. How dare he say I'm the one who made that choice! "You choose not to be apart of his life, Remus! You chose the war over him. I want you to meet him, to know him. Even more I want him to know his father."

He's silent, starring at me. I move closer to him. "Is this goodbye?" I ask, my face inches away from his.

I prepare myself for the inevitable. I know he's going to say it. Something about how this is how it has to be, how we're not safe. Blah blah blah.

He grabs my wrist. The single touch send shocks through my entire body. Any contact with him did that. "Take me to my son." he said to my complete astonishment.

"You're serious?" I ask not daring to believe what he just said.

He blinked. My heart faltered a bit. Here it comes. The rationality, the withdraw. But it didn't come.

He nodded. "Take me to my son Roxanna."

I stared doe eyed and nodded, extending my arm for him to join me in apparation. I was ecstatic on the inside but too much in shock on the outside to show any expression. My baby was going to meet his dad! Remus intertwined his arm with mine. It was enough to bring me to my senses. A huge smile grew on my face.

We apparate near the Malfoy Manor. It was extremely dangerous around here. I don't know how the hell I'm going to get Remus in without getting caught. But it has to be done.

"I'll need a disguise." he says mimicking my train of thought.

"Something extremely temporary though. I want Demetrius to meet you, the way you really look." I reply. I'm so happy it's almost uncontrollable. I launch myself at Remus, throwing my arms around him. I smile into his chest. Did I mention how fucking happy I am! He returns the embrace. "Are you excited to meet him?" I ask.

"I'm very excited. Though I should admit, a bit nervous." he answers.

I look up at him, snow flakes falling in his untidy hair. He has genuine predicament etched in his features. "Why are you nervous? He's going to love you!"

He scoffs a bit. "You don't know that. He may hate me, might be disgusted or scared of me."

"Don't be ridiculous. He'll love you. He wants to meet you." I console, not getting angry by his words, but becoming sympathetic to his concerns.

"How do you know that?"

"Because he's half of you." I answer my gaze locked onto his. "And half of me. And I love you." I continue.

After a second he nods, squeezing me a bit harder. I wish I could stay locked in his embrace all evening. "Let's go to our son." he says placing a small kiss on my forehead.

We begin the disguise process. I'm very hesitant to use magic simply because I don't want it to take forever to wear off. "Babe I think the best thing to do is just sneak you in. I really don't want to alter your face." I say the last minute with my wand pointed at his face.

"Roxanna think clearly if we were to get caught.."

I interrupt him with a laugh. "Get caught? My love remember who you're talking to. Okay Professor Lupin?" I say with a wink. Truth be told the thought of getting caught horrified me. But I'd prefer him to feel at ease and only focus on meeting Demetrius.

He laughs. Plus I have a plan anyway, sort of. We embark to the back of the manor. I know for a fact there is far less security there. Remus stays behind at the edge of the forest, so it appears that I'm emerging alone. As I get closer two young wizards, foul looking, approach me.

"Who are you?" one of them shouted trying to be tough, drawing his wand.

"What business you got here?" the other added.

These scrawny bastards. I can't stand when the lower ranks speak to me, or any of my family for that matter, like that! Of course I'm still too far for these losers to recognize me yet. "And since when do I have to answer to you idiots?" I shout in my best Narcissa tone. "This is my home after all."

They stop in their tracks. A sneer displayed on their face but they said nothing. "Nagini needs feeding." I go on. "Either you go catch her prey or you excuses of men will become her prey. Orders directly from Bellatrix, I honestly won't mind seeing the latter." I say when they seem hesitant to move. "Go now!"

With a gruff they proceed off toward the forest. I do a quick surveillance of the perimeter to make sure we're alone. When I give the signal Remus begins approaching from the opposite direction of the forest. I then stun the two guards as they were turned away. Their bodies fall limp and I admire my handy work for a second till Remus reaches me. My smile grows. We're getting closer! I intertwine my hand with his. "Are you ready?" I ask.

"As ready as I'll ever be I think." he says with a small smile. I can tell he's still nervous. I begin moving forward pulling his hand, beckoning him to follow. He does so willingly. Now that we're in the property I have to take even more precautious. All I had to do was get him to my room and we'd be safe.

The back entrance on the side of the abandoned garden looked promising. It was empty and the staircase led straight to my wing. We make our way up and I thank merlin that its so dark. As we round the corner I take an abrupt halt. There's two more guards down the hall. I perform a silent spell that sends them crashing to the ground unconscious. They're still alive, if anyone was to pass by they'd just think they're sleeping on the job. Any consequences that may bring to them is a different story that no longer concerns me. Remus and I quickly round the hall and finally cross the threshold to my room. We sprinted so fast that when we finally entered the room everything seemed to significantly slow down.

The door was shut and locked behind us. Remus leaned against the door and I with my back pressed against him. We were both breathing a bit hard attempting to catch our breath. Then it seemed Remus' breath stopped all together. I knew exactly why and it brought a huge smile to my face. My bed was right in front of us, and on it lay Demetrius' sleeping figure, which had begin to toss and turn with our ruckus.

I approach the bed and kneel beside it. I begin caressing Demetrius' forehead, beckoning him to wake up. "Hey baby, mommy's back."

He blinks his eyes sleepily. "Mommy. Did I get a present?" he asks. I always brought him back a toy or something whenever I had to leave at night. I felt guilty for sending him to bed alone.

"Actually I do. I brought someone to meet you." I say, the uncontrollable huge smile plastered on my face.

"Is it Darth Vader?" he asks. I roll my eyes and giggle. I really need to stop showing him so much muggle pop culture.

"No baby not Darth Vader," I say to which he makes a pouty face, "you're going to meet..your daddy." my heart pounds hard which each word.

"Daddy?" he asks questioningly.

I nod. "Daddy." I say and stand. I turn to Remus. He looks paralyzed. I gesture with my head for him to come forward.

He does so timidly. "Demetrius this is your daddy." I say introducing him to Remus.

"Hello Demetrius." Remus says, a bit awkwardly.

There's a look of confusion on Demetrius' face. He stretches his little hand to Remus. Remus looks surprised but extended his hand as well. Demetrius grabbed his finger and pulled him down.

Remus laughs and kneels beside the bed as I had been. "I talk to you. At the lake!" Demetrius states eagerly.

It completely slipped my mind that they had in fact encountered each other for the first time a few weeks ago.

"Yes you did." Remus says with a smile. He looks surprised that Demetrius remembered that.

"Did you bring me a present?" Demetrius asks. I giggle.

"Um. Of course, just a second." Remus looks up to me for help. I shrug my shoulders unhelpfully. I can't give him one of the toys Demetrius already acquires because he has an acute memory of each of his toys. Remus narrows his eyes at me playfully. He then proceeds to dig in his coat pockets. He pulls out a rather old looking toy that looks like a ball with black smoke inside. He looks at it and smiles. "This used to belong to one of my best friends. You can give people fake black eyes with this." he says tossing it to Demetrius.

Demetrius catches it and sits-up. "How do you do it?" he asks and begins shaking it.

"Well you-" Remus began to explain but before he got anywhere the ball flew out of Demetrius' hand and hit Remus straight in the eye. I couldn't contain my laughter. "Well thats one way to do it." laughing and rubbing his eye. "He's a natural." he says looking up at me.

I can't believe it! Here right in front of me is my son meeting his father! Demetrius and Remus finally know eachother!

"Daddy." Demetrius says.

Remus' laughter stopped. An indescribable emotion took over his face as he heard Demetrius address him as 'daddy'. "Yes Demetrius?"

"You're going home with us?"


	11. Chapter 9

**Super short filler chapter. Promise I will update soon, if anyone is still reading this story? **

"I actually have big news." I tell Lilian as I'm escorting her to the manor. She had just apparated here.

"Good or bad?" she asks and I can't help notice that her belly is already starting to show.

"Amazing." I reply with that huge smile again.

"Well go on, tell me!" she urges, her smile growing as well.

"Remus is here." I inform her.

Her eyes widen. "Here, here? As in, in the same manor the Dark Lord occasionally occupies?"

"Yes." I nod excitedly. "Well the dark lord hasn't been here for two weeks now, so security isn't that high. Plus Remus has only been here since last night but still he's here!" I jump all giddy.

"You must tell me everything!" she squeezes my arm.

I begin to fill her in, attempting to make a short story out of something I wan't to keep going on about. We reached my room. We opened the door and walked in to find Remus on the floor and Demetrius standing triumphantly on his stomach. It appears he had managed to steal Remus's wand as he had it pointed straight at his face, a fit of giggle's escaping his mouth. "I won daddy."

The sight of that made me pause. I loved it. Something I honestly thought I would never see. "Auntie Lily!" Demetrius notices Lilian and jumps off of Remus, running straight into her arms.

"Careful, honey. Not so fast, there's a baby in Auntie Lily's stomach remember." I can see Remus getting to his feet through my peripheral vision.

"He's fine." Lilian says embracing Demetrius. "I missed you so much!"

Remus comes to stand by my side. He pulled me to where my back rested against his chest. Lilian rose with Demetrius in her arms. She propped him on one arm and extended the other toward Remus. "Professor Lupin. Good to see you again."

He laughs, turning a little red on the cheeks. He accepts her hand, "I'm not your professor anymore Lilian."

"Oh I know. You're my best friend's baby daddy now." she says with a serious face. I couldn't help my laughter. Remus was really red now.

"It appears I am. I suppose that's something Lockhart would know all about." Remus shoots back with a playful smirk.

Lilian laughs. "Knows it all to well."

"I believe a congratulations is in order. Speaking of which I told Roxanna I'm willing to do whatever I can to assist you in retrieving him."

"You'll be joining us in France then?" Lilian questions, her eyes gleaming at Remus' offer.

"I will be." he says to which I squeeze his hand.

"We have to leave soon." I announce.

"Well we're all ready Roxanna. It's you that needs to get a move on." Lilian teases as I look around my room to notice shes right. Not one of my bags is packed and there's sort of slightly a huge mess everywhere.

"Well I was _occupied_ last night." I say defensively with a wink.

"Roxanna!" Lilian reprimanded with a look of disgust before she starts laughing. Remus on the other hand is apple red now, attempting to hid a smirk.

"Well it's the truth." I laugh. "Now you guys help me pack!" I take out my wand, as do they and we begin casting spells to get my shit together.

"Is that everything?" Lilian asks.

"Yeah I think s- wait where's my kid?"

"Got him." Remus emerges with Demetrius on his shoulders. I'm not used to having another person look after him.

"Well then that's everything. We'll be traveling through Floo. My love do you wanna go with mommy or daddy?"

"Daddy!" he yells hugging Remus' head. Well then.

"Okay." I go and give him a kiss then pull Remus into an intense kiss with a sudden burst of passion that exploded within me.

Lilian cleared her throat. We part from the kiss laughing. "Oops." I say.

"Let's go."


	12. Chapter 10

**Not sure if anyone is still reading this or if you want updates still? Let me know in the comments**

My eyes slowly open. An incredible warmth is engulfing me, it almost makes me afraid to fully open my eyes. As if it will disappear as soon as I wake up as it did for the last three years. Only this time it doesn't. There is a man fast asleep and lightly snoring beside me. I smile. Remus looks more relaxed than I have seen him be in a very long time. I scoot closer to him, if it's even anymore possible and begin to carass his chest. He begins to smile and his arms tighten around me.

"Good morning darling." he murmurs before his eyes flicker open and land on me.

I prop on my elbow and lean down to place a soft kiss on his lips. I linger there for a while. "Just making sure you're real." I wink.

He runs his hand lightly up my leg. His calloused hands make me tingle. I settle myself on top of him, resting my head on his bare chest. I sigh. "Do you like France so far?" He's only been here four days so far, and we haven't left the manor but I still wanted to know how he felt.

"I've been to France before, but I don't remember ever loving it as much as I do now." he says and pulls me into another kiss to which I willingly comply.

After what seems like a year we pull apart. His warm bare body feel very inviting underneath mine. I want nothing more than to accept the invitation, but the sunny is fully out and I know Demetrius is awake by now; with every inch of self control I contain I ripped myself off of Remus.

"Come love, our son is bound to be awake by now." I inform and slip on my robe. I pick up his pants and throw them to him and turn to exit. I pause at the threshold and turn, "And stop looking at my ass." I scowl and wink. He smiles a guilty smile and beings getting out of bed.

I make my way to the kitchen and as predicted Demetrius is wide awake, sitting atop the counter, in the midst of a very avid conversation with Lilian. "Mommy!" he yells as soon as he spots me. I run and embrace him.

"Good morning baby." I place a million tiny kisses all over his face . "What smells so good?" I ask Lilian noticing that she has a few frying pans going.

"I got a little hungry." she says taking a bite of bacon.

"Okay pregnant lady save me some too." I laugh.

Remus walks in, hair ruffled and a white shirt. I take a second to look from him to Demetrius to notice they are practically matching in plain white t's.

"Morning Lilian, it smells lovely." he greets, peering at the food.

"Remember love she's pregnant, she might now want to share." I tease, to which Lilian nods with a serious face. Remus already watering mouth frowns.

"Just kidding baby, we'll feed you too." I tell him in a mock baby voice to which he smiles and pats his stomach. "Demetrius why don't you show daddy around outside while Auntie Lily and I finish making breakfast?"

"Daddy follow me!" he jumps at the opportunity. He offers Remus his hand to which he takes and they stroll outside. I'm confident Remus will like it outside. We've a huge yard with a pond, garden and then extends into the woods.

I decide to be a stalker and watch through the window as they explore. It looks as if they decided to first approach the pond. I see Remus picking up something from the ground and then tossing it into the pond. Demetrius quickly mimics him. He must be showing him how to skip stones.

"Stop being such a stalker Roxanna!" Lilian nudges me. I roll my eyes, take one last peek- looks like Remus was kneeling and pointing at something in the sky as if explaining something, and he acquired Demetrius' full attention- and begin helping her finish breakfast.

"What the hell are we even doing?" I stopped as I noticed I was cutting fruit. I had been so distracted tha I forgot I had a want that was very capable of doing all this for me. Without waiting any longer I pull it out and with two swishes breakfast was done.

Lilian scowled at me. "Really? I was almost done!"

"Well now you are done. I believe the words you are looking for are 'Thank You'." She sticks her tongue out at me.

We set the table and I call for Remus and Demetrius. They come, laughing as they do. "Mommy!" Demetrius says excitedly, "Daddy's going to show me how to catch a fishy."

I wrinkle my nose. "Eww." I say and giggle. "Well as long as you have fun but don't come near me with that thing.

We take our seats and begin to devour brreakfast. I suppose we're all some fatasses. Remus gives me a look and i nod. I know what he's about to bring up we had discussed it last night.

"Lilian- Roxanna and I were speaking and we think tonight would be the perfect time to breakout Lockhart."


End file.
